Twitter | Ella Roo

No one hides their insecurities as well as they think they do. And normally people see right through the strange and crazy things people do to “seem normal”. But the truth is everyone feels what they’re feeling differently. Schopenhauer said: “…the difference in individualities is incalculably great.” Even if you can see right through someone’s act, no one knows what trauma caused that person to wear leopard print leggings, or why she cries in cat food ads. Kindness (or mercy!) is severely under valued in our society. With the rise of trolls, critics, blogs, discussion forums, and memes, we all think we have the right to judge what someone else has put out there. To ridicule or scoff at another user’s honesty is a trendy past time. But just because we don’t get it, doesn’t make it less meaningful to who ever’s experiencing it.

There is a kind side to social media. I have been berated for wearing my heart on my sleeve online many times. But to be honest, I’ve received sincere feedback when I’ve felt really alone, and a tweet was more like a desperate plea sent out in to the universe. Stephen Fry thanked his Twitter followers for their support after his suicide attempt in 2012 and on Facebook a friend saved the life of a suicidal teenager from the other side of the Atlantic! Status updates are supposed to be personal, Facebook itself asks me how I’m feeling?! It doesn’t ask: “What competition are you entering today?” Why aren’t we allowed to say I feel like shit? My advice is to keep your FRIENDS on Facebook, the people who really care. The rest just find your ups and downs amusing.

You can not possibly know what battle is raging on their side of the screen. Why not reach out instead? I have experienced the healing power of a few kind words first hand and it’s a bit like magic for a sad soul. Post pictures of your kid eating peas, lament over the asshole that broke your heart, TYPE IN ALL CAPS, or connect with other people who cry when The Cure plays. Isn’t connecting what social media is all about? How can you connect if you’re not “sharing”?

Today’s doodle is by Shané Mc Mahon, an awesome friend and super talented artist/photographer, who took it upon herself to draw these beautiful works of me and my baby. You can check her other work at www.killerlambkreations.co.za or follow her on Twitter, @KILLER_LAMB, or Instagram, @killer_lamb. Thank you for making something so beautiful from the pieces of my broken heart, I cannot express how much it means to me, love you lady!

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything. My life was interrupted by the loss of my most loyal friend, my beautiful black cat, Sabbath. I would like to dedicate this post to her, and to all the kind souls who reached out to help me when I was too devastated to function.

I had rescued Sabbath from a home were she had been badly neglected about 7 years ago. She was underfed, full of sores and scared shitless. And so was I… I had loved the idea of having a cat, but suddenly this little thing that really needed me was looking up at my irresponsible face. I was all she had to depend on… and I kept thinking: “That’s not enough?!”

But as it is with love, she turned out to be the hero. She enriched my life in ways I never expected and could never hope to replace. She was a tiny, loud, opinionated little bad ass, that never left my side. So when she didn’t come home that Sunday night I knew something was very wrong. The big search began on Monday. My roommate is an amazing woman, who put her own life on hold to help me. She ran out barefoot and braved gangsters in the search for Sabbath! Thanks Louise, I wouldn’t have been able to get off the kitchen floor without you. By Tuesday I was a wreck, and I started reaching out on social media. I posted her photo EVERYWHERE with the hash-tag #searchingforSabbath and the response blew me away.

Thanks to: @Donnidarko21, @SPCACharityShop, @gevaaalikdotcom, @VHaasbroek, @SnorCoty (you guys rock!), @RobForbesDJ, @TiffysPage, @PetBizUK, @friendz_feline, @WetnoseAnimal, @Volsdude77Renee, @Kikmi, @_horny_manatee, @SusanEacock, @EnigmaOffline, @Ch4llen, @AvddRenegade, @Hiro_ZA, @johnnyf1, @RuanHaHa, @b_dizzy and all the others!

There are too many Twitter users who responded/retweeted to mention, and if I’ve left you out, I am truly sorry. Every effort touched my heart, restored my faith in humanity and gave me the hope I so desperately needed. This experience has taught me that social media really can make a difference in one very small life.

On Facebook I found these pages & groups to be very helpful if, God forbid, you should ever lose your pet:

Lost and found CATS South Africa

Wetnose Animal Rescue Centre

SPCA Centurion

Missing Pets SA

Pretoria North Lost, found and rescued animals

Despite everyone’s valiant efforts I was told on Tuesday night that she had been killed by my neighbour’s dog the Sunday she went missing. I fell apart. I had lost my best friend. I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t sleep. I had to stack books on the foot of the bed to simulate her presence at night. I was too sad to think. Too sad to even want to! But luckily I had someone to look after me, I squatted at Donovan’s house for weeks, too afraid to go home to an empty room. He kept me clean and fed until I was able to start mending. I struggle with depression, and losing Sabbath was a hurt I didn’t think I could survive, but with the right support, loads of love, and a lot of patience I was pulled back to life. I still cry at least once a day. But pain is unavoidable. The internet is full of cats, and I can’t hide from them, believe me, I tried.

Thanks for changing my life Sabbath, I love you very much.