Love like yoghurt.

yoghurt small

 

I just adore this quote by Jarod Kintz! Follow him on Twitter or have a look at his Facebook page if you would like to investigate for yourself. The man is a bit of an enigma… the interwebs seems to be crawling with his quotes, and yet there’s no trace of factual information about him to be found. And I use the word ‘factual’ very lightly, even Wikipedia is stumped. Who ever he may be, he seems to know me very well… ^_^

He also authored three definitions on Urban Dictionary which I thoroughly enjoy:

Sexistentialism: A philosophy that proposes that a person should live for the moment, because when you die, you’re screwed. A big proponent of this was Sartre, Kama Sartre.

The Mythical Mr. Boo: A man so elusive, so mysterious, that nobody’s 100 percent sure he even exists. And although there are sceptics out there, they can’t prove that he doesn’t exist. One thing’s for sure, he has a reputation of a mystic, urban guru.

The Mythical Mr. Boo is intergenerational. If you are what you wear, he is his own grandma.

The Mythical Mr. Boo is like a fog that creeps about your window while you are fornicating with your wife. And just like fog, if the police ever catch him, he’ll be cleared by morning.

Ourafoura: An entity that hovers over the subconscious like a fog, yet avoids fields and pastures like cows avoid escalators. His wisdom is exceeded only by the vagueness of his memory. He is fond of saying many things, some of which are more cryptic than others. Orafoura, aside from being an entity, can also be described as a spontaneous feeling, like making a chicken suit from scratch, and not making it out of yellow feathers, but out of scrambled eggs. One of his favorite sayings is, “You must be the perspiration when all the world is deodorant.” But that’s just all talk, because Orafoura has no sweat glands.

I am a presence that fills up a room, like the laughter that comes from deep within a child who only has one lung.

 

All women are born evil.

all women

 

Don’t get mad at Chad, women and men alike believe his statement to be true. We’ve all heard girls say: “I don’t really get along with girls, I just prefer to hang out with boys.” And that’s usually why the other girls don’t like you by the way, but I digress. Arthur Schopenhauer (my most favourite thinker) wrote the following on the subject: “Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.” We should stop that… It would be a far reach to call me a feminist, but us girls need friends, evil or not.

The hedgehog dilemma.

hedgehog_smlThe Hedgehog Dilemma is an analogy by Arthur Schopenhauer (later also used by Freud) that attempts to describe the difficulties of human intimacy:

“A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to prick one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse. However the cold drove them together again, when just the same thing happened. At last, after many turns of huddling and dispersing, they discovered that they would be best off by remaining at a little distance from one another. In the same way the need of society drives the human porcupines together, only to be mutually repelled by the many prickly and disagreeable qualities of their nature. The moderate distance which they at last discover to be the only tolerable condition of intercourse, is the code of politeness and fine manners; and those who transgress it are roughly told—in the English phrase—to keep their distance. By this arrangement the mutual need of warmth is only very moderately satisfied; but then people do not get pricked. A man who has some heat in himself prefers to remain outside, where he will neither prick other people nor get pricked himself.” 

But then again Schopenhauer was known to be a miserable and sour bastard. The philosopher Russell later said about him: “It is hard to find in his life evidences of any virtue except kindness to animals…”. Which is a pretty cool virtue in my mind, but anyway… I believe great minds are often miserable, and in great part due to this exact dilemma. My solution for a thinker who finds himself affected by said dilemma is to preserve and fuel the “heat in himself” and I suspect the distance won’t feel as harsh.

It’s okay.

itsokaysml

It’s no secret that I’ve had a pretty rough time lately, and that I haven’t always handled it with poise and grace. But through it all I’ve figured out that pain demands to be felt, and you have to prepare for that. People who suffer from depression often feel guilty for feeling the way they do, which is a seriously destructive vicious circle. Friends and loved ones don’t always understand, and sometimes you trust the wrong people, which could leave you feeling devastated and very lonely. So here’s a bunch of stuff you don’t have to feel guilty about. If you haven’t gotten out of bed in a day, think of me in the ladies’ room stuffing my face with chocolates from my handbag, and know that you’re not alone. If you ease up on yourself, I promise you, you’ll be up and in your underwear in no time! And one day I might even be able to leave the house without a pedophile’s supply of candy… Definitely not today! But maybe tomorrow.

James Arthur’s single, Recovery, has become a source of strength for me and I would like to share it in the hope that if you’re feeling like shit as well, it will empower you as it has me. Just remember, someone somewhere is crying with you… And it’s probably me! 😉

 

 

Communication is key.

cats on fire

Unfortunately I wasn’t clever enough to come up with this expression myself, and I suck at remembering, so I don’t know where it comes from, but it stuck with me. And it reminded me of another something I heard somewhere; the greatest distance between two people is a misunderstanding. Which is so true, you should all write it down somewhere. I’ll wait…

It is impossible to maintain any relationship without clear communication, never mind trying to fix one! When things go unsaid between, friends, lovers or brothers, it makes the simplest of things seem like climbing out Fort Klapperkop. Try organising a nice get-together without being able to invite your best friend’s girlfriend because your girlfriend thinks she wants to fuck you, but really she just can’t stand the smell of the cat litter in your house, so she’s squinting, not winking, but she doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or alienate herself by admitting she’s the only dog person, so she’s not saying anything to anyone either… …it’s exhausting just typing that shit.

And you’re laughing, because it’s ridiculous, right? Welcome to my life bro. But I am currently in a head space that has no room for sub text. So what I’m trying to say is, if you’ve had some issue with me, and I haven’t responded to it the way you would like, pick up the damn phone. (Okay, I never answer my phone, but you get the point.) Just be direct: “Hey bitch, what was up with that look you gave me at Park Acoustics?”. And the answer would probably be something quite innocent like, “Oh shit Sarah, didn’t even see you there, did you see what that hag behind you was calling a skirt?!” Or if you did rub me up the wrong way I have no issue with saying; “Of course, you stole my sunglasses you dumb whore.” But without proper communication life gets unnecessarily tricky. People start operating on their own misunderstandings and reality gets lost in the mess, and that’s how figuring out where to braai on which Saturday becomes the most difficult decision of your adult life. We’re young, let’s dance, drink, and discuss! Not text, team up and target.