Happiness has your face.

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Personally I deeply dislike Valentine’s, I cannot remember one year that it went well never mind special. But in the spirit of love, my gift to you this Valentine’s is this free printable gift tag. Right click, save as, print, cut and paste. Add to your flowers, box of chocolates or diamond earrings, if you should be so lucky, for that personal touch. Just don’t propose, that’s plain corny.

A prisoner.

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I identify strongly with this quote. People often say “it’ll get better” or “things happen for a reason” and my personal favourite “it can only go up from here”, which is just indicative of a lack of imagination. It’s all bullshit. Many goodhearted, lovely people die alone, suffer pain, get screwed and many shitty people prosper. I am definitely not an optimist, but I am a PRISONER of hope. Hope is just as narcotic as depression, the two can be very close and equally misguiding. Hope, expectations, disappointment and so on. Optimism is an affliction. It teaches us that if you are not happy there is something wrong with you, you “lack faith” or you need pills, for example. When in reality no one is promised happiness and few achieve it. Most who do stumble upon it by pure luck, sheer randomness or hedonism. I highly recommend the latter.

The 1975.

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I love this band and for a solid year they’ve been making me feel all sorts of cool and sexy. Today’s post is a tribute to The 1975 and the things they make, and the ways they make music. And make music better.

Chocolate, my most favourite:

“dressed in black from head to toe”

The City:

“don’t call it  a fight when you know it’s a war” 

Girls:

“Well, shouldn’t you be fucking with somebody your age instead of making changes?”

Sex:

“We’ve got one thing in common, it’s this tongue of mine.”

Heart out:

“God I love the way you love yourself”

Somebody Else:

“Fuck that get money”

My mistake.

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It takes courage to say you’re sorry. I’ve learned that the longer you wait  to apologise, the more difficult it becomes, and then one day it’s just impossible. Mostly because it will have become irrelevant. What ever you did no longer matters to the wronged party. Ironically, by that time, right or not, you kinda lose the argument by default. Because your “opponent” has moved on from what you still mean to make right. The sooner you begin to fix what broke, the quicker you can leave it behind you.

Very often adults/teachers/lecturers won’t admit to kids/students when they’re wrong. Google will expose you before you have time to edit the Wikipedia page. You lose your reliability as well as the student’s respect and trust. It tells a student the little bit of authority you have is more important than your responsibility to actually teach the truth. They realise that you would rather compromise their education than your ego. Would you pay any attention to someone like that?

A font of my own.

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Behold the beginnings of an exciting new project! I should’ve done this ages ago, but I’ve finally started working on my first font. Which I’ll make available on the blog, free to download, very soon. After Oppikoppi of course. But still, very soon! The raw characters need some editing and refining, but getting digital is actually super easy. Watch this space!

It’s a jungle out there.

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A tribe is different from family. If you’re a little odd around the edges, your family learns how to deal with it because the chemicals and codes your biology share tells them that your survival is important. Your tribe is made up of people who share your specific flavour of freaky. These people see what you try to hide and they don’t flinch. They chose to keep you around. They could leave… but they don’t. That means something. It’s so comforting and life affirming to feel someone celebrate your joys with you and understand why you get emotional about what matters to you. I highly recommend it. Frees up a lot of time spent explaining yourself.

I learned the following when I started finding my tribe: Firstly, they tend to move in groups, whether it’s an action cricket team or a book club, they’ve probably started assembling already. All you have to do is what you already like doing, they like that too, so they’ll be there. You’ll know when you meet kin because they speak your language. (My tribe, for example, speaks a mix of profanity, cynicism and sarcasm.) So most importantly, just be yourself hey. If you pretend to be someone else you will attract someone else’s tribe, and trust me, trying to fit in with the wrong tribe is the loneliest feeling I’ve known. It can drive you crazy, take you to some real dark places and convince you of strange things like “YOU’RE the weird one”. But once you have just one more member of your tribe the relief of being able to just do you is very liberating. It really does “take a village” and with the right support and some true understanding you can start living among your natives instead of struggling to survive among strangers. Suddenly, even negotiating with an entirely alien tribe (like in my case, people who “don’t read”…I can’t even…) becomes a cinch, because you’re not insecure about being so very obviously different. Not fitting in doesn’t mean you’re gonna feel alone forever, but not being yourself will most definitely make you feel lonely.

The machinery is always going.

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If you sleep. If the gears keep you awake, eventually they turn slower and creakier and heavier and more labourious. So the noise and the effort adds to the lists of things that go bump in the night and that keeps you from real rest. … but I would rather go mad from sleep deprivation than stop the works and walk around empty.

Touching bottom.

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“You gotta touch the bottom before you can come back up”

*This post is dedicated to a dear friend who suffered a devastating loss yesterday. My heart breaks for you and what your family must be feeling. Love you gnomie.

I knew it!

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Frida‘s story has been a personal anchor for me. Truthfully, it kinda borders on idol worship. I even carry a talisman of her to remind me of her strength, like some people draw from saints. In the film, before her heart fucks her for life, you meet her first boyfriend. He seems nice. After the accident that crippled her with pain he recommends she reads Schopenhauer to get her through being bed ridden. My heart lept when I heard it. She is So inspiring and I’ve admired his work for so long… I knew he was an important thinker from the first time I read The Vanity of Existence. I could feel it in my bones. And look, I was right!