The fear of the blank page.

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“Soos fyn wyn in ‘n bladsy bad sy” – Breyten Breytenbach (Ek dink… ek gaan moet check, Google weet ook nie.)

It’s the scariest night of the year and everyone’s getting silly with spandex, make-up, ketchup, bells and whistles. In honour of the horror holiday I decided to write about a monster I believe is rampant in the creative community. The fear of the blank page…

Some days on my way home from work my mind wanders and I think of so many things I wanna draw. I get so excited by the time I get to the sketchpad I’ve started salivating. Then I choose a weapon, be it pencil or pen, I open the book, I lower my wrist, and then something inexplicable happens… I freeze up with fear. Suddenly I’m crippled by the sheer emptiness of the space before me. So I check my phone, or light a cigarette and channel flip, you know just to normalise. A cup of coffee later, I’m stuck hovering the pen just above the surface of the paper. This can go on for hours. Sometimes I even get my dishes done in between! But eventually I smudge chocolate in a corner or I nod off and a I awake a minute later to find a mysterious squiggle in a random place. And like magic the curse is lifted! The secret to beating the blank page is simply being brave and making your mark. And if you fuck the page up anyway, paste a pretty picture over it or use it to line the budgie cage.

Take care tonight, avoid people dressed as sexy cats, light a candle so the dead don’t get lost, and remember, it’s all in your head.

Spider season.

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It’s the day before Halloween! So I thought it apt to discuss one of my many phobias. While others are rejoicing about the recent rain, I’ve been staring at the windows with the Doom can clinking in my trembling hands. After the first serious storm all the creepy crawlies wake up and decide to visit the inside of your pillowcase. I’m constantly on edge. Not even a dust bunny escapes my super tuned reflexes. If it moves, I kill it. I can’t be friends with people who “catch and release” spiders, that fucker knows where I live now?! Kill it with fire, sage the space, say a holy incantation, touch a button, turn anti-clockwise twice and jump on the ashes 6 times, that’s the only way you get rid of a spider.

Paranoia.

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Quote by Hunter S. Thompson.

I tend to trust what Mister Thompson says. So today I’m on the look out for moth minions, signs of the zombie apocalypse, and Hennie Smit.

I’ll be posting some darker doodles all week leading up to Halloween, are you excited about Friday yet?!

Every child needs a monster.

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Halloween is such a cool holiday and it’s right around the corner! You get to dress up, get drunk, watch cheap movies, eat candy, and you’re allowed to tell flat out lies and call them “scary stories”. Sadly, Halloween is terribly neglected in South Africa, and children are warned about  the dangers of hell, devil worship, and diabetes instead. But sometimes celebrating the silliness of witches, ghouls and ghosts can neutralise instead of encourage fear. Today’s doodle is a quote from a short story by Nataniël, which illustrates the difference between having a fear or a friend for life.

“When a child learns how the world works, he becomes scared, said Grandfather. He needs his own monster to fight the others. They have been giving children monsters in every fairytale since the beginning, dragons, eagles, geese and bats, creatures that can protect them and help them escape.

From what? Said Grandmother.

You know what happens, said Grandfather. You know what they do to children. Teachers, strangers, people they know, parents, uncles. Better you have a monster when you need one, than a demon at my age. You know what happens.

It took me many years to find out what happens. But since that day I have loved my grandfather, he might have been a little alcoholic, but he gave me the monster that has been my protection to this day.”

Nataniël, When I Was 8, When I Was, 2008