Spider season.

spider

It’s the day before Halloween! So I thought it apt to discuss one of my many phobias. While others are rejoicing about the recent rain, I’ve been staring at the windows with the Doom can clinking in my trembling hands. After the first serious storm all the creepy crawlies wake up and decide to visit the inside of your pillowcase. I’m constantly on edge. Not even a dust bunny escapes my super tuned reflexes. If it moves, I kill it. I can’t be friends with people who “catch and release” spiders, that fucker knows where I live now?! Kill it with fire, sage the space, say a holy incantation, touch a button, turn anti-clockwise twice and jump on the ashes 6 times, that’s the only way you get rid of a spider.

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